


Even Other People's Boyfriends

by sperrywink



Series: Sebastian Will Hit On Anyone [2]
Category: Criminal Minds, Glee, Numb3rs
Genre: Coffee Shops, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Sebastian run into Blaine and Kurt while in NYC on a case. It goes about as well as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Other People's Boyfriends

**Author's Note:**

> I had too much fun playing with the first story, and follow-up ones kept popping up in my brain. Be prepared for random one or two more.

When there was a nightime serial sniper case in New York, Ian was kind of surprised to be brought in by the BAU. He didn’t think Sebastian had that much pull, but couldn’t fathom why else they would ask for him. Yes, he was the Bureau’s sniper expert, but other than Sebastian, they didn’t trust him.

Still, he got to see Sebastian when he wasn’t expecting to, which was always a bonus. Their sexual relationship wasn’t exclusive, but it was still like fireworks. Plus, Ian considered Sebastian one of his closest friends now. He didn’t judge Sebastian’s promiscuity or find him too bitingly sarcastic, and Sebastian didn’t treat him like a cold-blooded killer.

They didn’t really have heart-to-hearts, but they were there for each other in silent support when the other needed it. Sebastian even surprised Ian when his mom died by showing up as moral support at her funeral. No one else stepped up that way.

So after a year, they were closer than ever, and Ian didn’t even have to tell them to put him in Sebastian’s room, it was taken care of by Hotch, who handed over the keycard with a raised eyebrow. Ian just smirked, and took off his sunglasses. He asked, “What have you got so far?”

They discussed the case, Ian reviewing all the evidence. Sebastian showed up with autopsy reports, and Ian offered his insight where needed as the BAU threw facts and theories out. They broke up late with a game plan for the next day, Ian following Sebastian to their hotel room.

Once they were finally alone, Ian fucked Sebastian slow and sweet, and they didn’t fall asleep until after two. In the morning, both of them were groggy, but Sebastian dragged him out of bed for a quick run at six. The energy of youth. Once showered and redressed, Sebastian said, “Come on. Let’s get coffee and breakfast. The stuff here is crap.”

Starving, Ian kissed him, and replied, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Sebastian laughed, and they headed out to a nearby café with outdoor seating. Ian snagged them one of the few remaining empty tables, while Sebastian went inside to the counter to get their coffee and bagels. A tall, funkily dressed guy settled into the last remaining free table that was next to Ian as his companion headed inside, but Ian barely paid them any heed except to see they weren’t a threat. He was busy checking some case information that had been emailed to them overnight.

When Sebastian came sauntering out of the café, he was holding their coffees and a bag with the bagels, and chatting with the young man next to him. Ian raised his eyebrows at how friendly Sebastian was being. He knew when Sebastian was flirting, and he was flirting hard. The man next to him stiffened up like a scalded cat, so Ian put down his phone to pay attention.

As they came up to the tables, with a fond smile, Sebastian said, “Ian, I’d like you to meet Blaine. We were in competing show choirs in high school.” Blaine waved. Ian couldn’t tell if his expression was pleased or resigned or both.

Ian couldn’t help raising his eyebrows, and asking Sebastian, “You were in show choir?”

“Fuck you, I was a singing dreamboat.” He winked at Ian, who snorted a laugh.

Snidely, the man sitting next to Ian said, “You were a menace, not a dreamboat.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “And I apologized for that, Kurt.”

Ian leaned back, and rested his arm along the outer railing. The atmosphere was dripping with tension, and Ian could tell Sebastian was gearing up to be his most obnoxious. Ian briefly wondered if he would have to break up a fight. He admitted to himself he loved it when Sebastian was in people’s faces. He was a bastard like that.

Blaine and Sebastian sat down at the neighboring tables, and Sebastian handed Ian his coffee and bagel. Sebastian then turned to Blaine, and asked, “Do you still sing?”

“Only in class. I teach high school music.”

“That’s a shame. If anyone could have made it, it was you.” Blaine blushed becomingly, and Sebastian grinned like the cat that got the canary. He said, “And look at that. That bashful schoolboy charm still working for you, killer.”

Blaine blushed harder, and mumbled an answer, but Ian could see his pleased little smile. He also noticed Kurt’s tightening expression, as he was sure Sebastian did too. He didn’t know whether Sebastian was flirting to provoke the favorable expression from Blaine, or the negative one from Kurt. He seemed to find both equally amusing. Ian did wonder at the nickname, it seemed more fitting for him than Blaine, but figured he could ask Sebastian later.

Kurt huffed, and frowned at Blaine. Blaine’s expression blanked out, and his shoulders hunched. Kurt turned to Ian, and said, “Don’t you care he has the morals of a tomcat?”

Ian looked at Kurt over his sunglasses. Kurt arched a lofty eyebrow at him, not backing down. Ian mildly replied, “I don’t own him. He can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants.”

Kurt flushed, but his lips tightened, and Ian knew his cavalier attitude hadn’t lessened the tension at all. Whatever. It was too early to care. Hell, it would never be time for Ian to take part in some stupid high school rivalry of Sebastian’s if it wasn’t going to end in a physical altercation.

Sebastian grinned at him, though, which made Ian huff out a laugh. Sebastian said, “Ooh, roleplay! You going to put me in chains, Ian?” He grinned wide, and winking outlandishly at him, mimicked Ian’s pose. This nicely showcased his broad reach, and Ian knew Sebastian knew it. He also knew Sebastian knew how much the display contrarily made Ian want to tie him to the bed, and have his wicked way with him. 

Enjoying his fantasies, he fondly said, “Still not tying you up in the basement.”

“Come on! It’d be hilarious. And kinky. Two of my favorite things.” Ian noticed Blaine was watching them like a tennis match, but Kurt was staring down Blaine like he could freeze him on the spot. Ian didn’t envy Blaine when Kurt got him alone.

“And yet when Morgan comes busting down my door, I won’t find it hilarious, or kinky.”

Sebastian pouted, but his eyes twinkled with mirth. Ian lowered his head so Sebastian could see his wink over his sunglasses, making Sebastian laugh contentedly. It still sometimes amazed Ian how well he and Sebastian got along. They were so different on the surface, but their humor and outlook on life were very similar.

Kurt crossed his arms, and huffed loudly, which seemed to break Blaine’s staring spell. He turned to his own coffee, and noticed Kurt’s attitude. Ian saw him wince, and he snorted into his coffee again. Kurt heard Ian, and give him a disdainful sniff. Ian guessed it was difficult seeing other people flirt with your boyfriend (or so he assumed), but the animosity between Kurt and Sebastian seemed deeper.

Ian didn’t have to wait long for Kurt to go on the offensive again. To Sebastian, he said, “So I guess you found yourself a sugar daddy who doesn’t care how slutty you are. How fortunate for you.”

Sebastian huffed out a laugh. With fluttering eyelashes, he asked Ian, “You going to keep me in the style to which I’ve become accustomed? Ply me with diamonds and chocolate bon bons?”

Ian snorted. “I’ll keep you in the style to which I’m accustomed.”

Now Sebastian rolled his eyes with a grimace. “Great. Bad diner coffee and a tent. I’m not wooed, Ian.”

“I’m pretty sure it isn’t my bank account that woos you.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” Sebastian leered comically at him. Kurt was back to frowning at them as if he didn’t get them at all. Ian was starting to find it as hilarious as Sebastian obviously did. He knew he didn’t get the whole history, but Sebastian was Sebastian in all his outrageous glory, and Ian always found that funny.

Just then Sebastian’s phone rang, and he answered with, “Smythe.”

Ian raised his eyebrow, and hastily chewed the last of his bagel. Sebastian began clearing his own garbage, as he said, “We’ll be right there.”

He hung up, and stood up. “Break in the case. We’re needed at the station.”

Ian just nodded, and stood up too. He said, “Interesting meeting the both of you.”

Blaine gave him a weak smile, while Kurt bared his teeth at him. Ian bared his own teeth back, and wasn’t surprised when Kurt jerked back as if struck. Sebastian snorted out a laugh, and told Kurt, “Ian isn’t like me, Kurt. You don’t want to get into a pissing match with him. He chews people like you up and spits them out for breakfast.”

Kurt’s lip curled. “Charming.” Ian rolled his eyes.

Sebastian pulled out one of his business cards, and dropped it in front of Blaine. He said, “If you’re ever in D.C., look me up, killer.”

Glancing down at the card, Blaine did a double-take. “You’re FBI?”

Sebastian winked at him, and started walking backwards out of the sidewalk courtyard. With a shit-eating grin, he replied, “Yup.” It was obvious that this wasn’t what Blaine or Kurt would be expecting, and Sebastian found it hilarious. Ian grabbed his arm to direct him around chairs and patrons, and wasn’t surprised when Sebastian winked at Blaine. They dropped their garbage in the bin as Ian snorted, and said, “Come on, lover boy. Time for work.”

Sebastian turned the right way around, and they hustled down the sidewalk towards the local FBI offices. As they walked, Sebastian loosened his shoulders with a shimmy, and ran a hand through his hair. He sheepishly said, “Sorry for that. I apparently couldn’t help myself.”

Ian had never heard Sebastian sound apologetic, so he looked over with both eyebrows raised. Curious now, he asked, “What was that, anyway?”

“Old high school drama, which apparently makes me act sixteen again.”

“I don’t think you were the only one.”

“Oh my god, right?” Sebastian laughed, but it was in relief. Ian could tell he was happy Ian wasn’t upset. He filed that away for later.

Ian asked, “Why do you call him killer?”

Sebastian said, “What? Oh, yeah, killer ass. Did you catch a look of it? Pure heaven.”

Jokingly Ian placed a hand over his heart. “Now I am jealous. I thought my ass was the only one.”

Sebastian laughed delightedly, and slanted a smile at Ian. “Oh, baby, you know I love you, and your assets.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?”

They were just getting in the elevator, and they were the only occupants. As the door closed, Sebastian stepped close, and pressed the length of his body against Ian’s side. Ian wrapped his arm around him to hold him there. Sebastian said, “Oh, that’s definitely what we’re calling it.”

“Good to know.” Ian pressed a kiss to his cheek, and Sebastian smiled at him.


End file.
